Maybe it is you!!! (shoot…maybe its me???)

Maybe it is you!!! (shoot…maybe its me???)

Hindsight may be 20/20, but self reflection is often blurred…


It was one of those days where all I wanted was to have a glass of wine and watch the scene passing by. But they quickly became the show. They were in their own little world, which is probably why they didn’t notice me in the corner watching them. She arrived about an hour and 30 minutes before he did and her body language indicated she did not appreciate the wait. But she perked up, and straightened her face once he pulled into the parking lot and showed no signs of the obvious irritation she was feeling just moments before. He made no apologies; she did seem to need one. Shrug… I would have left an hour ago, but that’s just me.  She had sat the entire time without a drink, but when he asked what she wanted, she replied “dirty martini with GREY GOOSE.” Oh, she’s a top shelf chick, I thought to myself. I secretly wondered if she needed that dirty martini to help hide the attitude she was pretended not to have had just minutes before. I was intrigued nosey by their exchange, which is why I could not help but ease drop on their conversation. (Don’t judge me, where else would I get materials for my blog???)

THEN… somewhere in between “how was your day” and “let get out of here and go to someplace more comfortable” an even more interesting conversation took place:

“I like a man to treat me well,” the late 20’s dime piece very pretty girl says with a forced coyness. She bats her eyes, tilts her head to the side and smiles sweetly.

“I can afford you” he responds as he wraps his arm around her waist and kisses her gentle on the lips. It appears to be their first kiss. I am mesmerized by the scene and wondered how many bars this was playing in across the city.

Her movements tell me this isn’t her first seduction.  His arrogance swag tells me this isn’t his first time either.  The and the CLS550 he pulled up in and Ferragamo shoes tell me he more than likely can “afford” it. There was a time when I used to think he was about to get played, but now I know the truth… Maybe he can afford IT, but why the HELL is IT for sale? And not to be funny,  if you are selling it, can you please do so for more than the Honda Accord and a pair of Carlos Santana shoes (Because I peeped those shoes in Macy’s two days ago)? Please don’t take my comments out of context, I happily drive a Camry and own a few pairs of that brand, what I am saying is if your selling it (which you shouldn’t) at least price it where you can set yourself up. Shoot, at 30, she only has a good 5 years left on that body and face, she should be trying to see how she is going to retire, not how you’re going to get a free dirty martini! I am just say, not condoning, just saying…but I digress.

As I watched this little exchange it reminded me of the flip side, the day I listened to a group of women who were in their 30’s talk about dating in Los Angeles. “Men don’t want to take you out anymore” one complained, “AND McDonalds is not a date,” another woman chimed in. They all shook their heads in agreement at this declaration. My eyes widened in amazement. I checked the date on my watch to make sure I had not gone back in time to the twilight zone high school. Was I TRULY in a room with a bunch of grown women complaining about McDonalds dates? Seriously, I must LMFBO! That means laugh my freaking butt off for those who don’t know. This can’t be real! Then it happened…

No, it didn’t happen to me, but a conversation happened that help me understand this ridiculous situation these grown women were encountering. I was commenting to a friend about a girl her friend used to date, but he said several times and I quote “I never dated that girl.” I could not hide the exacerbation in my voice. I know they used to hang out often, I also know they slept together several times, how in the hell could he keep insisting that he never dated her. Then it dawned on me… she was a McDonalds Girl! The girl he went out with, but never took out. The girl he bedded, but never slept with, the “this is all it going to be” girl. Don’t mistake my statements, if you always trying to get over, get a free meal, make a man take you to some pricey restaurant, your just as bad. You might be worse, the Mick D’s girls actually likes the man a lot of times, she is doing it out of emotions, the other type of girl is hooking playing herself and cheaply. Yes, hooking getting played. Your selling it and he is buying it with dinner. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news…hang your head in shame! But I digress again…

Being a McDonalds girl is NOT okay. I would dare say that it is tragic. If you are the Micky D’s girl… you need to take a deep long look into yourself and find WHATEVER trait, attitude, expectations, feeling or energy you are giving off and ERADICATE fix it. Why? Because you’re the McDonalds girl! LOL. I am sorry to laugh, especially if it’s at your $4.99 happy meal expense, but you need to fix this and quick!

But as I am seeing this scene unfold and remembering the other… it dawned on me… I think I HATE both of these women. The Gold digger and the McDonalds chick are messing up this world for women like me and some of my friends. I mean damn… do I have to make a man take me to a pricey restaurant just so he doesn’t think I am a cheap date and treat me accordingly? I don’t even like them; I am more the special hide-a-way that you really cherish kind of girl. And do I REALLY have to offer to go half on the meal and spilt the check on the first date so a man doesn’t think I am trying to get over on him? There has to be some in between label that I can attach to my forehead. I recently had a guy tell me that I was “emotional” because I would let him “date” me on facebook and expected him to call. AND I put date in quotes, because he clearly wasn’t dating me with that point of view…, this situation clearly didn’t last long…but I digress again.

Where was I…oh yes. I hate you whores/steppingstones women who make it so difficult to date in Los Angeles. I feel like I am always trying to prove to myself men that I am NOT you! So, if you are always being dogged by men, men never take you out, are assholes, fuck you over, use you and you NEVER end up with the guy, maybe you’re the McDonalds girl…maybe you the gold digger… shit…MAYBE its you?

Ouch. Did that hurt? Sorry. Here I will give some nicer advice:

One of the most difficult things for a person to do is a true, unbiased assessment of themselves. We often ask ourselves the same type of questions at the conclusion of a “Situation”: Why did I accept this? Why didn’t I walk away sooner? Why did I ignore all the signs and red flags? Why did I allow him to treat me this way? Why did I (fill in the blank here)? But we rarely ask ourselves the most important question of all. The question which would allow us to grow as a person and possibly be more successful in our next relationships…and that question is WHAT ROLE DID I PLAY? If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, then it is insane to remain the same person in each of your FAILED “situations.” Cause MAYBE ITS YOU!  Or maybe its me? No, bump that…its not me! LOL

Sorry, I hate to be there bearer of bad news… I just call it like I see it.

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